One Month

Seems like it has been a week and that I should be updating the blog. The San Diego Memorial was as incredible in its way as was the New Mexico one. It too included family and friends, and the added gift was being able to hear from Gene’s colleagues and students, to have that element of his professional life reflected. He tended to keep the two sides of his life somewhat separate, and we were fortunate to hear from a few of the people with whom Gene enjoyed mixing the personal and professional dimensions of his life. Over the next few days, as I get permissions from those who spoke, I’ll be posting their reflections.

The Dean’s Office, and Marilyn Bredvold and Jose Luis Alvarado in particular, were so supportive and so helpful in pulling off the event. It was incredibly well attended, and though I got to speak to many of the folks who came to offer their respects and farewells, I never made it outside to the patio, and I know there were many I missed. Hearing from his students was especially fulfilling. It is not often, as educators, that we have the opportunity to hear about the lasting impact we’ve had on a person’s professional life. In the case of Gene, that impact lives on in the students of his students as well.

We had a gathering back at our home for family and friends who could make it over, midweek and dinner hour. I was especially honored that two of our favorite nurses, Jamie and Shakkia were able to come as well. My niece Nancy’s family, the Mendoza’s, provided much of the food, and as usual, Gene’s friends and both of our families all chipped in to provide the rest. Jason told me before hand that we had enough tequila to get the Rolling Stones drunk. As the night wore on, we made a decent dent in that as well. Gene’s ipod once again provided the music, with many, many more hours left to play. The beans and rice and enchiladas, chicken carnitas, and guacamole are gone, but should you come by, and I hope you will, I’m quite sure there will be tequila for years to come, though Gene would offer you a cold beer first.

I was blessed to have my family with me for the entire month. My mom, Susan, Esther, Lawren and Christina were here for the week of the memorial. I can’t imagine how it could have happened without them, without Jason and Nancy, without Donald and Linda. Susan Nickerson and her family took Breezy for the night, so the doors were wide open for the first time ever. We don’t have many pictures, but we do have words, and as mentioned, I will be posting them as permissions come in. I’m now immersing myself in the grieving process, now that the busy-ness is over. I’ve saved all your cards to open slowly, to read what you’ve written to me in them and in the book. The business part of my life-changes nags at me, but I’ve not yet been able to do much. I keep reminding myself that I have the gift of time, still 5 weeks till work starts again. The weather has definitely been cooperating with grieving….once again very grey, very cool, not reaching 70, a gloom that is forecast to brighten a bit but not disappear too soon….a good reflection of the time I am in. Perhaps this will be the summer without summer in San Diego….but then again…August and September await us.