tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35266455681323186162024-02-20T19:37:56.692-08:00Gene CentralA special place to share in life's journey.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-58870925151843191062011-02-26T10:26:00.000-08:002011-02-26T10:34:56.294-08:00<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">When Great Trees Fall<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" ;font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i>By Maya Angelou</i></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" ;font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">When great trees fall,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">rocks on distant hills shudder,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">lions hunker down<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">in tall grasses,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">and even elephants<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">lumber after safety.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">When great trees fall<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">in forests,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">small things recoil into silence,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">their senses<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">eroded beyond fear.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">When great souls die,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">the air around us becomes<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">light, rare, sterile.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">We breathe, briefly.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Our eyes, briefly,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">see with <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">a hurtful clarity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Our memory, suddenly sharpened,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">examines,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">gnaws on kind words<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">unsaid,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">promised walks,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">never taken.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Great souls die and<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">our reality, bound to<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">them, takes leave of us.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Our souls, <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">dependent on their<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">nurture,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">now shrink, wizened.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Our minds, formed <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">and informed by their<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">radiance,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">fall away.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">We are not so much maddened<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">as reduced to the unutterable ignorance<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">of dark, cold <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">caves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And when great souls die,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">after a period peace blooms,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">slowly and always<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">irregularly. Spaces fill<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">with a kind of <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">soothing electric vibration.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Our senses, restored, never<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">to be the same, whisper to us.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">They existed. They existed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">We can be. Be and be <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="CS" style=" color: rgb(15, 15, 15); font-size:14pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">better. For they existed.</span></span><span lang="CS" style="mso-ansi-language:CS;mso-fareast-language:ZH-TWfont-family:Baskerville;font-size:14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-54386281696642685642010-11-20T20:08:00.000-08:002010-11-20T20:11:28.347-08:00Some GeneThoughts from Patty<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Chalkboard; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Patty wrote this in reference to Jason's words at the SDSU Memorial that I'd posted below:</span></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard">I couldn't help but cry. You are so right, Jason really got Gene and loved him too. Between your preface, Jason's outline and having a first hand insight into the incredible person that Jason is, I could almost "hear" his talk. It also makes me realize again that because Gene was such a powerfully authentic individual that his absence is so much more intensely felt by all those who loved him. So, no, it's not just that he was with us and now he is gone and now we just adjust; it's more that his presence was so strong that he actually influenced our thoughts and actions, so the void that we feel is massive and it permeates into every corner of our lives and is felt even at times that you might not expect it. I miss Gene and think of him often, things that he said, conversations we had, skiing, Hawaii, The Farm, beach walks, out-to-breakfasts, coffee at home and even a beer here and there. Because Gene gave so much, we have a lot to hang on to, appreciate and reflect on. As painful and difficult as it is for you to be apart form Gene each day, I have no doubt that at the same time you know in your heart how lucky you are to have shared so much of your life with him and have received the greatest of his love. You have that to carry with you for all of the rest of your days.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-24221321481510857642010-10-23T11:19:00.000-07:002010-10-23T11:50:28.312-07:00Two More Remembrances<i>Somehow, I haven't wanted, or been able, to come back to the blog yet. Grieving is so much more private, and yet so many of you have continued to reach out and support me. Thank you. There are two more remembrances from Gene's SDSU Memorial that I did not yet post, and so here they are:</i><div><i><br /></i><div><i>From Randy Philipp, a friend, a confidant, and a colleague in the College of Education. Thank you Randy for your continued friendship and support.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#663300"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">MY COMPA</span></span></font></i></div><div><i><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#663300"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard">There is a saying, "May you live all the days of your life." That was Gene, for whom every moment was interesting. The last time I saw Gene, a few days before he died, when he could barely speak, when he was expending all his energy just to breathe, he told me that others had given him last rites and he asked me if there was anything I wanted to say. His eyes said to me that he was done fighting and he and I knew that this was the last time we'd see each other. He noticed my hesitation and said, "You don't have to." I told him I'd miss him. He said likewise. By this time, Gene was so weak that his eyes remained closed most of time I was there. But suddenly he opened them and said, "In our relationship this is the only time I've had nothing to say." I laughed. But the truth was, even on this day, when he was barely alive, he still had something to say, but he was too weak to say it.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard">Gene always had something to say; he was a story teller. His stories were not the kind people make up; they were all based on his keen observations of life. He came into my office once while I was talking to a student, and later he asked me about the student. He told me that he suspected that this student was mildly autistic, and he explained his diagnosis. That helped me when working with this student. Next time we were together he asked me about the student, by name-someone he'd met for 1 minute. Gene was a curious student of life.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard">Gene did not just tell a good story-he could also listen. He would listen carefully, thoughtfully, actively. But never judgmentally. He was interested in understanding, not evaluating. We'd go for a beer and we'd each have some topics or stories that we planned to talk about, but we'd seldom finish more than one item because with Gene, the point was not to accomplish anything in particular, but rather to engage honestly and authentically. We'd talk about work, sports, our relationships. It did not matter, because the process was one of honestly sharing. He'd tell me his thoughts about losing his mother or about his aging father. When talking to Gene I always felt as if we were on a journey. And on this human journey, it was just fine to be our imperfect selves. I once shared with him something I said during a disagreement with my wife, and he looked at me and said, "Well that was stupid." I smiled. You could always count on Gene telling it like he saw it, but because he was not judging me, it was safe to hear what Gene had to say. That was stupid; he was right. But with Gene it was ok to be stupid, because Gene knew that sometimes humans are stupid, and it was ok to be human. I think Gene liked Gene, maybe because he understood that it was ok to be stupid sometimes. That was part of being human.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard">Gene told me to call him "compa," which was short for compadre. I'll miss Gene waving to me as he walked by my class as I was teaching. Or greeting me in the hall with a hug. I'm going to miss my Compa.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard; mso-bidi-font-family:Chalkboard"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Chalkboard" size="6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 19px;"><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><i>And, finally, our nephew Jason. An incredible young man, who, with his beautiful wife Nancy, continues as well to provide me with support, caring, friendship and love. Jason thinks in outline, but spoke volumes about Gene. Many people who attended the SDSU memorial shared with me that Jason's remarks were especially meaningful to them. For me, I think often about his comment that Gene did not leave too early, he did not leave too late (what, not late?) but left exactly when he should have. I've reflected on this often and I know that he is correct. How does he have that wisdom, at such a young age? I have also come to realize, with regard to this, that the days Gene lived after coming off the ventilator... about two and a half weeks...while filled with the most incredible suffering, were also, such a gift. Several doctors and nurses shared after the fact that they did not expect him to live through that, to come off the ventilator. And upon waking, for several days, Gene made comments about being already dead. He asked, "Am I still alive?" on more than one occasion, and he related experiences to prove that he could not be....he was just at his dad's house and everyone was there. ......his dad could not be alive because "he died the same day I did". If the other side is non-temporal, I've started to wonder....did he pass over and then come back? It was after this that he began to tell me that he needed to die. Although I accepted it and let him know that I did, I still held on to hope. But it gave us some time, not enough time, and I now wish I'd been able to keep myself awake for more of those 3AM conversations that he wanted to have. It gave us some time for him to share his concerns about dying and to express some of his wishes. That was an incredible gift, that not everyone who must let go of a loved one gets....though of course, I wish I could have had more. So...Jason's words resonate deeply for me, and his talking points below, capture just a bit, the essence of his moving, sometimes humorous, always accurate, reflections on Gene's life: If you are curious, you'll just have to ask Jason!</i></font></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#330033" face="Chalkboard">LUCKY TO KNOW HIM AS CHILD AND AS ADULT</font></p><p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#330033" face="Chalkboard"></font></p><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#330033" face="Chalkboard"><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri; ">*Valles time<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri; ">* <span class="GramE">he</span> is an event<br /><span> </span>- entertaining<br /><span> </span>- interesting<br /><span> </span>- wise<br /><span> </span>- deep<br /><span> </span><span> </span>- funny<br /><span> </span>- uncle brother<br />* what did he just say<br /><span> </span>- put downs<br /><span> </span>- roses<br /><span> </span>- <span class="SpellE">Kd</span> <span class="SpellE">Langy</span><br /><span> </span>- <span class="SpellE">humpreys</span> concerts<br />* hospital<br /><span> </span>- <span class="SpellE">valles</span><br /><span> </span>- <span class="SpellE">tj</span> hot dog<br /><span> </span>- love - valentines day<br /><span> </span>- anger - even during bad times<br /><span> </span>- how to be ill<br /><span> </span>- everything happens for a reason<br /><span> </span>- even the strong have to go when it's their time<br /><span> </span>- gene didn't leave early, he didn't leave late he left on time<span> </span><br /><span> </span>-<span> </span>2<span> </span>lasting lesson<br /><span> </span>1 leukemia is tough and it's even tougher for <span class="SpellE">latinos</span>.<span> </span>The donor base is narrow and it shouldn't be - gene helped get so many more added to the donor base that would not other wise be there, because of him, <span class="SpellE">someone's</span> life could be saved<br /><span class="GramE"><span> </span>2</span> life is beautiful, it is exciting, it is dangerous, it's full of adventures and interests; so don't wait to start living yours, it's never too late<span> </span><br /><br />Refreshments & more reflections in the courtyard.<br /><span> </span>Write in his book and <span class="GramE">Please</span> take a packet of seeds and plant them to share gene's garden<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "> </p></font><p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </span></span></font></i><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-27584390912935310022010-08-06T19:58:00.000-07:002010-08-06T20:29:15.017-07:00Student Voices<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">At Gene’s memorial, I asked a few of his former students to share remarks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>One of his most recent students, Angelica Alvarado, from the ALAS program, spoke that day, and has kindly allowed me to share her words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I also asked Alberto Caballero, a student of Gene’s from our early days in San Diego, his second Bilingual-Special Ed Intern Cohort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Alberto and Gene maintained a professional and personal relationship over the years, and he spoke from that perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Another ALAS student, Sara Zook, was unable to attend, but has agreed to allow me to share her words as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It has been a comfort to me to hear from his students, in writing and in person, about Gene’s lasting and positive impact on their careers, and on their work with students.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#339966;"><b>Angelica Alvarado<o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dr. Gene Valles was a remarkable professor.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Initially I met him as an undergraduate student.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He assigned a tedious assignment where we had to write each step on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My peers and I giggled because it seemed like an easy task.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">However, as he explained the assignment, we were shocked on how he wanted each step with the exact details like, “extend your right hand and grasp on to the knife on the table”.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I told myself, “Wow, no wonder we need to sit into groups and think about each step that we unconsciously make to perform easy tasks.”</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">After this assignment, I saw things through a different scope, being aware of the challenges that people with disabilities might encounter to perform simple tasks like making a PB & J sandwich.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This was the critical point in life where I knew without a doubt that I wanted to become a special education teacher.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I had the privilege to know him for two years.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He was a kind and intelligent man that committed his time to his students and the Department of Special Education and Project ALAS.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Last summer, immediately after I completed the first year of the ALAS program, I was very anxious and scared to enter the realm of special education.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Since I had the mentality of a bilingual teacher, I felt I got off my route of special education, so I frantically emailed Dr. Valles to ask him to explain what I was getting myself into, how the special education credential program was laid out.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He broke down each course and gave me comfort by explaining how BCLAD and SPED credential programs were different.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He took the time from his busy schedule to sit and talk with me about the program.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I felt relieved and confident to continue my 2</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">nd</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> year commitment to Project ALAS due to his one-on-one support.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A quote that I would like to share that exemplifies Dr. Valles.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of children; who had filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he had found it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.”</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We need to grieve without dwelling, to move forward without forgetting.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">On behalf of the Project ALAS students, thank you for everything, Dr. Gene Valles.</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; color: rgb(51, 153, 102); "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Alberto Caballero</span></b></span></i></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Good afternoon, or “orale,” to use a “Gene-ism.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Starting out, let me say how great and appropriate it is to be amongst this company of good folks who cared for Gene: from Gail his wife, to his University family, and co-workers, other University-related associates, recent and former students, friends, and everyone else attending his memoriam. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My name is Alberto Caballero.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I was a student of Gene’s, beginning 15 years ago; and a member of his last Bilingual Internship cohort, a program he coordinated and taught, in the early 1990s. The program’s purpose was to prepare already credentialed professionals as Sp. Ed. teachers.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I also was fortunate to collaborate with Gene on a few of his City School’s trainings, and was one of his Master Teachers for Student-Teachers completing their Special Education practicum.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am grateful that Gail wrote last week asking if I would consider doing Gene a favor which was for me to speak about our professor, my mentor, and friend.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My answer was that I would be and am, honored.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am pleased to share a few of my experiences learning under, working with, and at times, just hanging out with Gene.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I met Dr. Eugenio Valles (“call me Gene”) in spring of 1995, but had heard of him and the Bilingual Intern Program for Special Education for some time before.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I’d tried to get him to contact me— left a few written messages, some phone messages, etc. beginning maybe three-quarters of a year previous to making the trek to State to find out about his program. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">[Funny, even Gene’s office was hard to find then and I would come back several times during my training and discover that he had up and moved… yes, Gene could be a hard professor to find]</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We spoke and he got me up to speed on the program, even pulling out texts and class lecture notes and basically giving me an overview of the Internship.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I listened, listened some more, had a few questions but mostly I think sat with my mouth hanging open over this enthusiastic, personable, and knowledgeable little fellow.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene didn’t commit to allowing me into the program since I didn’t have transcripts at the time.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He also informed me that the group that would be starting in the fall of ’95 was supposed to be from the South SD County Districts (being the CV, National City, South Bay) --- so he would let me know about space, etc. based upon how many candidates were sent to him.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But I was “sold,” in terms of wanting to know more about and train in the fellowship program with Dr. Valles.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Looking back, I can now see that Gene was as skilled and knowledgeable as a diamond-cutting expert, but was also as unpretentious as the mine-worker.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ergo the “Valles look,” Wrangler’s, a cowboy shirt, boots, large-buckle belt, only sometimes a vest or a light coat. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A few weeks later, Gene called to tell me that in fact there would be room in the program; said that if I was still interested, he could get the forms out to me.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Two catches were that I needed to get back the forms in about a week and would also have to relocate from the school in south San Diego where I then taught.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The first night in Gene’s class, there were only 7 or 8 of us.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene tells us about himself, shares his academic and experience/ history and tells us that he trains and works with Special Educators.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You can tell he loves his job, thinks it is the greatest thing in the world.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene is authentic, inspiring, powerful, and he gets more than my attention.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He goes on about how we are the future of special education, experienced bilingual teachers moving over to this important field.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He all but put more weight onto our shoulders in terms of our responsibilities, who we work for, etc. while the whole time expressing that in the end, it is what we do and how much we care, that will most affect our students--</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">how that is what would ultimately matter most. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There was so much to share, too much to teach us, and of course there was always a lot of discussion and interaction as we tried to connect the information shared by our texts and professors, with the experiences we were all living and the conditions we all worked under.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I know I learned a lot over those two years, Gene had this way of making you think a lot, and to think about your thinking (—the “meta-cognation” thing), of prodding and digging into our attitudes, foundations, beliefs, and our positions and the outcomes we were attaining...it was amazing, revealing, sometimes a little scary.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene’s style almost never put you to sleep or left you sitting on your hands during class sessions.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In fact it was rare to leave his class without ruminating over a provocative idea or tidbit that stayed with you even as you hunted for your car in the parking structure.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene could put you on the spot if you came to class unprepared, as we all did at one time or another, but would not let you be singed much beyond slight bronze, before stepping in and to rescue you and continue with the topic at hand.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What I know about Gene as a professor is that he was caring, wise, prepared, intelligent, deliberate, courteous, inquisitive, confounding, pleasant, funny… so funny sometimes, but what he mostly was is real and genuine.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene had a deep-pitched voice and a provocative presentation style that drew you in to each evening’s topic.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He sprinkled his lectures with stories and situations from his own elementary and middle school teaching years, as well as with examples experienced by special education-practioners he had supervised. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">As a scholar, I believe that Gene knew his fields of cross-cultural education & special education, as well as anyone.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And he held himself to the highest standard in terms of professional interaction, as he did in any personal interaction, not to mention being a pretty exacting task master.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But all of this was done in a calm, cool, considerate and thoughtful ways that Gene did things.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene accepted no short-cuts or trivializations of University or Department standards or expectations.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gail mentioned to me and I did kind of recall a few instances similar where someone could not get a project in or was unable to turn in a paper that might raise their grade and Gene, being Gene, would give the student more time to re-edit and return the assignment, or even talk them into taking an incomplete grade just so that they could fully meet the course expectations.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He wasn’t about to let one of his learners fail something that Gene was totally confident we were capable of completing.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene and I got to be friends with him taking on more of a mentor role, toward the end of my second year in the Intern program.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We’d talk on the phone intermittently, forward emails to one another, etc.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes he’d say, “I’ll be down at __ and __ schools in Sweetwater, how about we get lunch together at ____…”</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Other times he’d drop in to visit with his Student-Teacher, staying over a few extra minutes for us to catch up with one another. Over the years we’d get together a few times per year when we’d go out for tacos or the like.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Later it would be going over to have few beers on campus at the end of the week. </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes a buddy like Paul Justice, would be there and things were a bit louder. Other times we went alone— all relaxing, fun—with Gene prodding and trying to find out how my professional and home life were going; asking about my daughter, parents, etc., or asking my opinion on topics in Education, the state of the National Government or a politician, or about immigration issues.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(Even as recently as May of this year, he was asking what I thought about the legalization of marijuana in California.)</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I learned more about him as well, though it is funny while I did know about the ranch and New Mexico and his father and sisters living in the State, I’d never knew about Hurley, NM or about him having been brought up there, until I made a visit to see him in the hospital back in April.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Two of his boyhood friends were there as well and I realized that he and his friends were nice, small-town, authentic types— all good guys, to a fault as well as being decent and upstanding people. It made me recall our visits for dinner, in taxis or on the trolley, here at State in the hallways of the Ed building, or to the famous (and infamous) Tijuana Tequila Expo. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene was friendly, genuinely interested, and so curious. He also had such a respectful, relaxed and affable way about him.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In short Gene liked people and was often responded to in kind.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One time I came over to State, back when visitors didn’t need to park out by student housing, and I caught up with Gene coming in from one of the other buildings, chatting with students before turning in to No. Ed.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He said “goodbye” to the young ladies, said “hello,” to me then we walked over to his office.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Along the way up the steps, through the hallways, ducking into several class rooms where classes seemed to be pre-start or on break, Gene had a kind word, a greeting, or simply referenced a prior joke or comment that he and the teacher or students had shared earlier.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And he just went along leaving smiles and kind words in his wake.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene spoke to and greeted everyone; he took genuine interest in their lives and their worlds (work, student life, home life, as citizens). </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene cannot be categorized nor totally described to the outside person based upon these vignettes.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And of course I am not trying to do so; just presenting my friend as that caring and important professor, from the experiences that I was fortunate enough to share with him through our professional and interpersonal contacts.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This was long after he’d, ‘placed me on my road,’ into a Sp Ed career.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In the fall of 2008 and again this past fall, Gene asked me when my District might let him send a Student-Teacher to me again; I told him that last year because my Principal and I had not worked together I wasn’t being given the courtesy of his approval for having anyone.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene told me he had thought I must have pissed someone off, which wasn’t, “necessarily a bad thing.”</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What I can say with all of my heart is that Gene is and was a great man, a great professor and teacher, an exemplary human-being of great wisdom and convictions.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He had a tremendous passion for teaching, for special needs children, and for this University.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene deeply loved his wife Gail, cared about and loved his family, and he greatly cared about his friends, his University family, and his University students.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He fondly told of spending time at home and of going out on the boat.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He also spoke often of the ranch and his partners, etc.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He touched so many and made such a difference in the lives of countless people, especially if we consider his influence via secondary contact.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I have a feeling that San Diego and the San Diego State Sp. Ed. Department have already noticed Gene’s absence—that we are all missing a steady dose of his professionalism, his easy smile and laugh, his even-handed wisdom, and the guidance he daily brought into our lives.</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gene told me at one of our last late lunches (dinner) together, back in Nov ’09 —after about a year of only a few calls and some emails exchanged, that he had figured out something about good friends.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That even when you haven’t seen them for a while you know that they are a good friend to you because though a long period may pass, you are easily able to pick right up where you seemingly left off on the earlier visit.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And that you can often just sense that they are doing okay, even without contacting them. </span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(As an aside, in late January of this year, as we spoke of his illness and of the trials he had been living and just an instant after he’d let me know of the cancer battle on-going within his body, I think that I must have reacted atypically for me, such that Gene seemed to want to calm and reassure me, rather than receiving comfort from my words or actions.)</span></i><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Last, I want to say to you Gene, I will keep checking at our local and distant Mexican restaurants, for those enchiladas you always asked for with the tortillas layered flat over rows of cheese, rather than rolled.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And I’ll keep you in mind and in heart, with each shot of tequila I sample—in fact, I told my wife Monica that this fall, she and I need to go twice to the Tequila Expo, one time for me and the other time for Gene.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">As far as I am concerned Gene, I will still be covering the cost of our next dinner, you can go ahead and get our first round of drinks… </span></i><span lang="ES"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Take care y hasta pronto mi hermano—¡ORALE y muchísimas gracias! </span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">God love and keep you, dear friend and teacher.</span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;"><i> <o:p></o:p></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:#339966;"><b>Sara Zook<o:p></o:p></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:#339966;"><b> <!--StartFragment--> </b></span></p><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:#339966;"><b><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Thank you so much for requesting my presence at Dr. Valles´ memorial.</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">While he has been in my thoughts and his family in my prayers, I am </span></i></span></p></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">currently in Central America and wil not be able to attend his </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">memorial.</span></i></span></p></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></i></span></p></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">The news of Dr. Valles passing struck a definite and deep chord with</span></i></span></p></b></b></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">me. As a first year teacher this past year, I would often think of his </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">wisdom and patience and try my hardest to model the same expertise </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">that Gene had.</span></i></span></p></b></span><p></p></b><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">There were so many times that I would think about Gene: his casual </span></i></span></p></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">style of welcoming and comforting everyone in the room, while still </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">posing those questions about ¨what if that is not the case? Or, did </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">you ever think about this student?” He would pace across the classroom, </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">cowboy boots clicking along to the beat of our thoughts, allowing </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">those questions to sink in as we all quietly pursued his prompts.</span></i></span></p></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></i></span></p></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">I can be sure that Gene´s words will be at the forefront of my mind as</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: -webkit-xxx-large;"> </span></span></i></span></p></b></b></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">I continue to explore the boundaries that hold back our students who</span></i></span></p></b></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">for whatever reason, are not able to have an equal opportunity at </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">education. Gene taught us to empower our students whose voices are </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">quiet and difficult to hear. It is our responsibility to make sure </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">they are heard.</span></i></span></p></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></i></span></p></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Generations of teachers and students will be changed due to Dr. </span></i></span></p></b></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Valles´ powerful message. Please let his family know that I am sorry </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">for their loss, but that his message is still very alive to me, my </span></i></span></p></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">colegas, and my students. Rest with peace.</span></i></span></p></b></span></b><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></b></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></i></span></p></b></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Saludos,</span></i></span></p></b></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></i></span></p></b></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Chalkboard"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Sara Zook</span></i></span></p></b></b></span><b><p></p></b><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Humanst521 BT""> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:#339966"><b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:black"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </b></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: -webkit-xxx-large; "><i><br /></i></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="Humanst521 BT"font-family:";font-size:11.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:#339966;"><b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;color:black;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-33958255331363701672010-07-30T22:03:00.000-07:002010-07-30T22:12:36.181-07:00Remembrance of Gene: Dr. Alberto Ochoa<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Dr. Alberto Ochoa was a colleague, professional collaborator and friend of Gene’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They’d worked together recently on a project to prepare teachers who would have expertise in both Special Education, and in meeting the needs of students and families from linguistically and culturally diverse backgrounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This project was similar in some very important ways to the work that first brought us to San Diego, seventeen years ago, and was Gene’s professional passion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Alberto visited Gene regularly at the hospital, helping him to stay in touch with his professional life, while still nurturing their personal relationship. He has been a tremendous support to us both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m so glad to have the opportunity to revisit his words.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-line-height:150%; Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> Thank you for the opportunity to celebrate the life of our colleague </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dr. Eugeñio Calderon Valles</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. I first met </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene </span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">upon his arrival at SDSU almost 17 years ago and had the privilege to interact with him almost on a weekly basis during the last three years of his life--- at a personal, professional, as co-director of a federally funded dual credential project in biliteracy and Special Ed/MM—named ALAS (Acquisition of Language & Academic Skills)/, as well as interacting with Gene in community advocacy activities involving Special Education in the San Diego Unified Schools District. Reflecting on my interactions with Gene in the last three years….</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I learned much from him –to listen, to be patient, and to strive to be caring.</span></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At a personal level</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, I deeply appreciated our conversations as we met regularly at the Starbucks near Hwy 163 & Friars, often Karen Cadiero-Kaplan would join us, to coordinate our work. Before entering into matters of the ALAS Project we would share “</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">una urgente taza de café”</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">--an urgent cup of coffee-- and share events about our lives-past-present-future plans. In our conversations, he would often speak about his love for New Mexico and his ranch, about the adventures of his 97 year old father, about the work of his wife Gail, about social and educational concerns in our society at the macro and micro levels. It was a way for us to connect with our lives, our roots, and our work. In our deliberations, he would always emphasize the importance of </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">honesty, fairness, and compassion</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> in working to improve the social conditions of our communities and our democratic system of government.</span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At a professional level, </span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">we had long dialogues on pedagogical issues that could make a difference in addressing the existing achievement gap in our urban school communities. As we discussed ways to bridge the field of biliteracy and special education in the preparation of teachers—he always wanted to focus on the </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">application of concept</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">s by focusing on various types of learners and in the case of ethnolinguistic learners—the relevancy, efficiency, and effectiveness of instructional practices in our schools.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";color:red;"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></i></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As a co-director of the ALAS project</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, I learned about his passion and his dream, namely, of bridging two departments, </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">philosophically,</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> a socio-constructivist pedagogy and behaviorist pedagogy, in the preparation of </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">biliterate special education mild-moderate teachers.</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> His passion and ideas became a reality with the funding of a 5 year project to prepare such educators in our local communities. With his departure, we are now seeking the help and support of Drs. Ann Graves, Karen Cadiero-Kaplan, and Regina Brandon to fulfill Gene’s dream of making this project part of our ongoing teacher preparation option in the College of Education.</span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";color:red;"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></i></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As an activist</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, in his work with SDUSD, Gene approached issues of equity with </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">thoughtfulness, reflection and humanity</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">—always from a proactive approach and seeking to work with and through the educational system—always advocating for access, fairness, and educational practices that were not deficit based. His </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">voice and advocacy </span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">will be missed!</span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></i></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Reflecting on this journey</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> in the last 6 months, of importance to me, </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">is that both Gene and his wife Gail</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> have taught us much about being courageous in the midst of </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">uncertainty and chaos</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. Upon hearing of Gene’s departure from us……I wrote to Gail and said: I received the news with extreme pain in my heart...yet, I will always remember Gene as a </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">gentle, charismatic, thoughtful, giving and caring person</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> and educator who mentored many. At a personal level, I sought to interact with Gene for his simplicity, personal manner in dealing with those around him, and </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">as a scholar who was deeply committed to teach, to mentor and to develop teachers</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></i></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene cared much about his students</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, preparing detailed teaching lessons that guided students to </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">discover their voice, ontological vocation, and the art of teaching children/youth with special needs</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. In the words of one of our ALAS graduates: “</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dr. Valles taught us to empower our students whose voices are quiet and difficult to hear. It is our responsibility to make sure they are heard”. </span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As previously stated, ALAS was a project created to actualize his dream of bridging the fields of biliteracy with special education while centering on ethnolinguistc students.</span></i></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Como guerrero,</span></i></span></b><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> as a warrior, I know that Gene in his last few months of life was suffering and was searching to reconcile his personal spiritual freedom and overcoming physical pain. Yet, at this very moment, through Pablo Neruda’s poem (Pido Silencio/I Ask for Silence) …</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene speaks to us:</span></i></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span lang="ES-TRAD" style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Pido silencio ..... me voy a cerrar mis ojos .... he vivido con tanta intensidad que un dia tendran que olvidarse de mi. </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Pero ¿por qué pido silencio?....</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">no pienses que yo </span></i><span style="background:white"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">voy a morir, por el contrario: sucede que voy a volver a vivir. Ocurre que nunca me sentí tan vivo, nunca he tenido tantos besos .... Ahora, como siempre es temprano. </span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Y la luz del día</span></i><span style="background:white"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> principia con el vuelo de las abejas ... Les pido estar solo con el día ...... </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">y pedir permiso para nacer"—I ask permission to be born .</span></i></b></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="background:white"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"I ask for silence ..... </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am going to close my eyes</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> .... I have lived with such intensity that </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">one day you will have to forget me</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. But why do I ask for silence, d</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">o not think that I am going to die</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, on the contrary: </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">it happens that I will re-live.</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> It happens that I never felt so alive, I never had so many kisses .... Now, as always it is early. </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The light of day appears with the fly of bees </span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">... I ask to be alone with the day </span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">...... </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and ask permission to be born</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> In closing, </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">in the power of the spiritual agreements found in the indigenous Toltec culture</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, I will continue hear Gene’s voice speaking to students and to each of us who were fortunate to know him: </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">“to always do our best</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, “to not make assumptions as we interact with people different from us”, and </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to strive to be “impeccable with our word”…ser impecable con nuestra palabra.</span></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:.25in;text-align:justify;line-height: 150%"><span style="font-family:";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gail…with deep respect and affection, con respeto y cariño Alberto Ochoa</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-45.0pt;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count:3"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-45.0pt;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-45.0pt;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-45.0pt;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-45.0pt;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right:-.25in;text-align:justify"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-39356426948334201132010-07-27T10:49:00.000-07:002010-07-27T11:07:50.631-07:00Remembrance of Gene: Jose Luis AlvaradoDr. Jose Luis Alvarado shared his reflection at Gene's SDSU Memorial from the perspective of friend and colleague in the Department of Special Education. Gene and Jose Luis grew together professionally and personally from both the common bonds they shared and the opportunities they had to spend time together learning from each other, getting to know each other and supporting each other. I know that Gene's voice is with Jose Luis, as it is with me, and that he will be continuing to guide and support him from the other side. Keep your boys facile with that frisbee, Jose Luis!<div><br /></div><div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><i>Gene Valles<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><i>Colleague and Friend<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><i>By<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><i>Jose Luis Alvarado</i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>First, I’d like to say that Gene would not approve of what I am wearing today. For Gene, being dressed for work was a button down, short-sleeved shirt, a tie, his Wrangler blue jeans, and his boots. For special occasions, he’d wear black Wrangler jeans.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>In honor of Gene’s request, I will do my best to keep it simple.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>For us as Gene’s Colleagues, he was first and foremost, a teacher, a master teacher of teachers…, he was also a Frisbee playing buddy, a mentor, the voice of reason, collaborator, counselor but most importantly, he was a great friend. Though I am here to share as a colleague, I first met Gene when I was a student in the special education credential program. From the first day, he told us, don’t call me “Dr. Valles,” just call me “Gene.” Gene would drive out to the Valley to teach a class for the first cohort of SPED Teachers being trained out there. We connected right away and continued our friendship as we both were involved with COMRISE (Center of Minority Research in Special Education), he as a post doctoral research fellow and I as a doctoral student. We developed many close common friendships: Dr. Todd Fletcher, Dr. Alfredo Artiles, Dr. Phil Chin…all who were deeply saddened of Gene’s passing and each send their condolences to the family.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>I recall the time when I applied for a faculty position here at SDSU, as Gene was driving me to the interview, he asked, “Are you sure this is what you want?” as if to say, “do you really know what you are getting into buddy???” Many times since, he would remind me that he tried to warn me but I did not listen. As a colleague, Gene was always the voice of reason…he wouldn’t speak much sometimes, but when he spoke, it was with a purpose. Gene had a special way of refocusing our department discussions. If we were having discussions about policy or curriculum, he would always keep us grounded by asking, “How is this good for kids? How is this good for teachers?”</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>As a colleague, Gene was a generous individual who did not hesitate to share of his curricular materials as many of us were doing new preps. As stressful as the promotion and tenure process is, Gene would go out of his way to helping many of us improve our RTP materials. We want to thank him for the countless hours he spent editing our candidate statements. Gracias Gene, we owe much to you.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Gene always kept his door open and students and colleagues alike dropped by frequently. Of course, one consequence of his open door policy was the backing up of papers to grade. I would tell him, “Gene, these are final papers, students are not going to read your comments.” That did not deter him, he would respond, “I know, but I need to give them feedback.” He always strived to make all of his students the best teachers they could be.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>For me, it didn’t matter when I would stop by, he was always glad to see me. “Q-Vole Jose Luis, pasale. Have a seat” , was Gene’s typical greeting. For many of us in the Special Education Department, Gene was like an older brother. He always had great advice but he was an even better listener. Like a cool older brother, he was one heck of a fun guy to have a beer with. In fact, several SPED Dept. faculty can say that they had their first beer in San Diego compliments of Gene.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>I cannot believe that my good friend and colleague Gene Valles is physically gone. I know that his legacy and impact in the education community will carry on. I know that a part of Gene will continue to live on in me, in all of us really. Still, as I walk the corridor in the basement floor of the North Education building, I still instinctually look over hoping to see Gene’s door open…and if the door was open, Gene was either letting a student make up an exam or just chatting it up. If his door was open and he wasn’t in his office, he was probably visiting Paul probably conspiring on their next escapade. I am, we all are, going to miss our good friend and colleague, Gene Valles.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i> </i></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-38350411479124716822010-07-25T11:25:00.000-07:002010-07-25T11:52:16.679-07:00Marie's Prayer For Gene, and For Us<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">Dr. Marie Schrup was the first speaker at Gene's SDSU Memorial, after Dr. Ric Hovda's welcome, the Dean of the College of Education. Gene and Marie had been colleagues and friends since we first came to San Diego. Marie visited often in the hospital, and tried to support us both in any possible way, including making sure the chocolate stash was available for whomever might need it, even when Gene could no longer himself enjoy it. Towards the latter part of our difficult journey, Marie began to write prayers for us that provided comfort to us both. I asked her if she'd be comfortable offering a prayer to begin the Memorial. Although this was more of a professional memorial, our journey did bring us closer to God, and that needed to be reflected. Gratefully, she agreed. Here are her words:</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i>I initially met Gene when I did policy work in Special Education in the 90s. I knew him the whole time he was at SDSU. He quickly became a professional and personal friend.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>Gene passed away shortly after Summer Solstice, the day of greatest light. Having met a remarkable person in Gene, having listened to him, I understand myself in a new way, I experience the world in a different light.</b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i>Summer is a season of appreciating abundance of light, the reality of both the physical light and the spiritual light, and of recognizing the unique gifts we have to share with the world.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i>Please join me in a prayer/meditation.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>Divine Beloved, Heavenly Father, God of faithfulness,</b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i>In your wisdom, You have called Your servant Gene out of this world; welcome him into Your Presence, so that he may enjoy eternal light and peace.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>How remarkable is the mystery of Creation and the interconnectedness of all things. We are all here today to celebrate Gene as we are connected to him and to each other in so many different ways. </b>Thank you for the gift of his life. Hear our prayers for Gene whom You have called from this life to Yourself.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>Help us all be more aware of all of life around us and live life with more love, humor, compassion, wisdom and kindness. </b>Whenever there is something that we should pay particular attention to, help us feel the strong loving presence of our Guardian angel, whoever that might be to us. As we meet and think of people today help us remember that every thought is a prayer.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>We never know what place we may have in helping another heal so help us to have a peaceful mind and compassionate heart with all those we encounter. </b>Give us the grace to accept what comes our way.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>Thank you for your guidance as each of us goes forward with Gene in our hearts. I believe everyone has been created with a purpose in life and that as long as we listen You will lead us to that purpose as You did for Gene.</b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><b>Take care of Gene as only You can do. Look with love on those who mourn. </b>We miss him dearly. I ask all this in your precious name, </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i>Amen.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><i> </i></span></div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-34317254733709873902010-07-22T11:59:00.000-07:002010-07-22T12:03:25.127-07:00One Month<b> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; ">Seems like it has been a week and that I should be updating the blog. The San Diego Memorial was as incredible in its way as was the New Mexico one. It too included family and friends, and the added gift was being able to hear from Gene’s colleagues and students, to have that element of his professional life reflected. He tended to keep the two sides of his life somewhat separate, and we were fortunate to hear from a few of the people with whom Gene enjoyed mixing the personal and professional dimensions of his life. Over the next few days, as I get permissions from those who spoke, I’ll be posting their reflections.</span></p></b></b><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "></span></p></b></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; ">The Dean’s Office, and Marilyn Bredvold and Jose Luis Alvarado in particular, were so supportive and so helpful in pulling off the event. It was incredibly well attended, and though I got to speak to many of the folks who came to offer their respects and farewells, I never made it outside to the patio, and I know there were many I missed. Hearing from his students was especially fulfilling. It is not often, as educators, that we have the opportunity to hear about the lasting impact we’ve had on a person’s professional life. In the case of Gene, that impact lives on in the students of his students as well.</span></p></b></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "></span></p></b></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; ">We had a gathering back at our home for family and friends who could make it over, midweek and dinner hour. I was especially honored that two of our favorite nurses, Jamie and Shakkia were able to come as well. My niece Nancy’s family, the Mendoza’s, provided much of the food, and as usual, Gene’s friends and both of our families all chipped in to provide the rest. Jason told me before hand that we had enough tequila to get the Rolling Stones drunk. As the night wore on, we made a decent dent in that as well. Gene’s ipod once again provided the music, with many, many more hours left to play. The beans and rice and enchiladas, chicken carnitas, and guacamole are gone, but should you come by, and I hope you will, I’m quite sure there will be tequila for years to come, though Gene would offer you a cold beer first.</span></p></b></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><b></b></b></span></p><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "></span></p></b></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 15.8333px; "><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; "><b></b></span></p><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13.1944px; ">I was blessed to have my family with me for the entire month. My mom, Susan, Esther, Lawren and Christina were here for the week of the memorial. I can’t imagine how it could have happened without them, without Jason and Nancy, without Donald and Linda. Susan Nickerson and her family took Breezy for the night, so the doors were wide open for the first time ever. We don’t have many pictures, but we do have words, and as mentioned, I will be posting them as permissions come in. I’m now immersing myself in the grieving process, now that the busy-ness is over. I’ve saved all your cards to open slowly, to read what you’ve written to me in them and in the book. The business part of my life-changes nags at me, but I’ve not yet been able to do much. I keep reminding myself that I have the gift of time, still 5 weeks till work starts again. The weather has definitely been cooperating with grieving….once again very grey, very cool, not reaching 70, a gloom that is forecast to brighten a bit but not disappear too soon….a good reflection of the time I am in. Perhaps this will be the summer without summer in San Diego….but then again…August and September await us.</span></p></b></b></span><b><p></p></b><p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </b>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-70570017334911233682010-07-13T06:58:00.000-07:002010-07-13T07:01:23.824-07:00Gene’s San Diego Memorial Update<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Just a few reminders about Wednesday's memorial:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>Date: Wednesday, July 14th, 2010</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>Time: 3:30 p.m.</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>Location: Parma Payne Goodall Alumni Center</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>San Diego State University</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>55th Street and Hardy Avenue</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:13.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>San Diego, CA 92182</i></b></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;color:#000058"><b><i>Parking is available at no charge in Parking Structure 5 (adjacent to the Alumni Center; enter from 55th Street).</i></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Directions:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">The easiest way to get there, I think, is from I-8 take Mission Gorge/ Fairmont exit. Go South on Fairmont, the second exit is Montezuma East. Go up Montezuma 3-4 lights to 55</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> St. When you make a left on 55</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> , the Parking Structure is on right, go in the last entrance. There will be signs for “Alumni Center Event Parking”, that’s us, an Alumni Center event. Whatever level for parking it indicates, parking on that level will be free. As you walk north out of parking structure, the grass field behind Parma Payne Goodall Center is what you see, just walk around to the front which is opposite, almost, Viejas Arena.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And just one more thing: Some people have asked if this is an event for faculty only. SDSU has been kind enough to provide the venue and any support we can imagine, but it is </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">not</span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> a faculty-only event. The event is open to all; all are welcome! We’ll have time to mingle, and visit over refreshments on the patio after the formal part of the remembrance and celebration is over. Hope to see you there.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:18.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Also: Jason has updated his online gallery with a combination of his photos of the NM memorial and now Patty’s are added as well, so if you’ve not yet looked, or want another peek, here is the link again. If you click “slideshow” at the bottom, you can see all the photos in that format. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt; color: rgb(67, 68, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:13.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"><a href="http://gallery.me.com/boomchikiboom#100044"><span style="font-size:15.0pt;font-family:Calibri;color:#568B00;text-decoration:none;text-underline:none"><b>http://gallery.me.com/boomchikiboom#100044</b></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:13.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:#434433"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#434433">Today would have been Gene’s 61<sup>st</sup> birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Mike and Eileen in Corrales are holding a birthday celebration so if you are in ABQ, and want to join them, contact Patty Dana at<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>(505) 980-0578 for further info.</span><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-39243846821177630932010-07-08T11:09:00.000-07:002010-07-08T11:24:57.842-07:00Gene's Eulogy / Obituary/ SD Memorial Info<i>Here is the eulogy that I wrote and delivered for Gene, at the San Juan Mission Church in Mimbres on June 27:</i><div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene, as many of you know, was among a unique group of people who were “born in space”, in Santa Rita, NM.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Being the only son, life with five sisters prepared him for success in a predominantly female profession.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was molded early on by Luisa’s love and MP’s caring.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a brother, a friend, an uncle, a spouse, a son, a brother-in-law, and a student, a wild, kind, curious, compassionate being.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Geno loved people, and yet he was a homebody, loving most to be at home with Breezy, and me, putzing in the yard, or at home on the farm, working up a sweat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a musicologist, a bird-watcher, a lover of hawks and flowers, a consummate reader, a life-long Yankees fan, baseball his favorite sport.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a gardener, a hiker, a reluctant traveler, and though he continued to insist that he wasn’t really a sailor, after 30 years with me, he was the best first mate I could possibly have and I don’t know that Symphony and I will be able to sail together much more without him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dr. Valles was a student of life, people and politics, sifting through multiple sources of information to digest and reflect on any evidence of peace, justice and morality.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We shared our politics completely.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Eugenio was a loving, caring and responsible son, adored by MP and Luisa.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Over these past six or seven years, Gene spent his New Mexico time with Luisa at Ft. Bayard, or helping MP in Hurley.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He would find usually only 24 hours or so to spend at his most favorite spot on earth, No Cattle Company, always facilitated fully by Michael and Sharlene.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Although Gene could cruise comfortably with the girls personally and professionally, he loved his time with the boys.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">How many of us are lucky enough to have had a friend like Howie for 55 years?</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">With Jerry and Joe not far behind, Terry and at least 3 Michaels, at least one of whom can be truly defined a soul mate.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">One of his best San Diego buds, Paul, can’t be here today, as he is supporting his wife as she too battles cancer.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And although he and Jim have been friends for years, the level of bonding they experienced as Jim supported him on his journey through cancer, can’t be measured in words. Jim was, Gene said, his favorite caregiver.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And all of us who know them are thinking that of course, as his spirit is enfolded in the wings of his mother, one arm is reaching out for the cold beers being cracked by Tommy and Mark.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bean had some incredible karma that lasted him 60 years.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Life just seemed to roll his way, whether it was the good car karma that I was able to share, the Caliente, The Red Rooster, he must have gotten that, along with his hands, from his dad.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a good boy, I’ve been told, a “school boy”.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The son of a mineworker, he found himself on a college track, first a math major at Western NMU.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Drafted into the army during the Vietnam War, his karma found him doing time in El Paso, the resulting GI bill later paying for his education and helping us buy our first home.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Although drifting a wild bit after the army, and serving time at Roses Cantina among other watering holes, as young people are often want to do, it was his volunteer work at Southwest Services for the Handicapped that pointed him in the direction of Special Education as a career.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">His friendship with Tom Foy Jr. was no small part of him being included as an original partner in No Cattle Company.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">After a few years of teaching at Silver High School, he moved to Albuquerque, returning to UNM where we met in 1975 while working on our Bachelor’s Degrees.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He earned a Masters Degree in Special Education and was teaching in APS when he was invited and encouraged to enter the doctoral program, something he never consciously sought, making him an anomaly in higher education.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a teacher of teachers who actually taught public school for 17 years.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was loved by colleagues and students alike, a thinker, non-judgmental, caring and motivating, providing avenues into the teaching profession for students like himself, from diverse backgrounds, often second-language learners and first generation college attendees.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But for sure, he preferred, when asked, not “Dr. Valles”, but ever humble, “just Gene”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Although his career unfolded seemingly effortlessly (not counting the dissertation writing completed thanks to the encouragement of Dr. Anne Tafoya), he did actively pursue the love of his life, a seemingly unlikely blond-haired, blue-eyed beach girl from New York.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">After a 4 year long-distance romance with breaks and interventions (stories there), we both returned to UNM in 1980 and were married in Tennessee in 1981, beginning the official part of our 35 years together.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And, as Gene will have two memorials, (the next in San Diego on July 14) we also had two weddings.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We married in Tennessee on Dec. 27, spent our honeymoon driving West on I-40 (but enjoyed many, many great trips later to make up for the lack of relaxation on that one!), to a New Year’s Eve Party at the Lions Club in Bayard, put together by the same friends, in the same way that the party we are about to attend will be.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Family or friend contact lapsed or lost did not mean love lapsed or lost for Gene.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And friends usually meant a party, we’ll tell more of those stories later.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene’s sisters tell me he was a Mama’s boy and that must be where he learned to love.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And love he did- life, family, his friends, our cats: Wolfie, Kitty Litter, and Breezy, and me.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He deeply loved the desert southwest and a particular corner of it called No Cattle Company.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">One of our greatest lessons through this terrible journey, where Gene suffered SO greatly, was LOVE, and receiving all the love that sustained us.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The love and gratitude he received from his students was often what choked him up, as he clearly cared so much for them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So the greatest lesson, as all the prophets and God have taught, truly is LOVE. The love Gene had for me, I’ve always known, is the greatest gift one can receive in life, even in its less than perfect forms.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene is now PURE LOVE, no longer embodied, his love lives on in us all.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Remember and reflect on his love every time you enjoy the beauty of flowers, bite into a perfect crisp fresh apple, or pop that first, or fourth beer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene told me in his last days that he was sorry he disappointed all those people who prayed, who sent energy and love and begged the universe for his survival in human form.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I told him, NO; he was a model of courage, of tenacity, and of hope in spite of tremendous odds.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He was a warrior who fought through trials beyond imagination.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God’s plan for Gene is different than the one we wanted.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But he lives on in us all.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Each time we meet, each hug we exchange, the love and energy of Gene will be rekindled.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Keep the web of love, energy, prayer, hope and reflection alive.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Gene is part of it, and will continue to connect us all.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God will bless him, this I believe.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Thank you for being</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">here.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi- Comic Sans MS"font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi- Comic Sans MS"font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;"><i>Here is the obituary that I wrote with help from friends and family and which will appear in the Silver City Daily Press, his hometown newspaper:</i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi- Comic Sans MS"font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Gene Valles<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">July 13, 1949- June 23, 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Eugeñio Calderon Valles was born to Manuel and Luisa Valles in Santa Rita, NM, on July 13, 1949.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He was raised and attended school in Hurley NM, the only son among six children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He learned the ways of horses from his dad, and began his lifetime love of baseball as a Little Leaguer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A high school wrestler, he graduated from Cobre HS in 1967, and attended WNMU before serving in the US Army from 1971-1973.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">He found his career direction in volunteer work for Southwest Services for the Handicapped, and went on to earn a BA and MA degree from UNM in Special Education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He spent 17 years as a public school teacher, including 4 years at Silver HS, 1976-1980, where he also coached Cross-Country Track.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">He married his college sweetheart, Gail, in 1981.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They both taught in Albuquerque Public Schools, and Gene earned his PhD in Special Education from UNM in 1992.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Since 1993 he had been living in San Diego, CA, working as a professor, a teacher of teachers, at San Diego State University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He returned to his home in the Mimbres Valley whenever he could.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Dr. Valles focused his career on helping those who learn differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>During his tenure at SDSU, he particularly worked to provide access to a career in Special Education for students like himself, from diverse backgrounds, often second-language learners and first-generation college attendees.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Gene was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia on Jan. 15, 2010. Prayers were answered as he found a donor for a Bone Marrow Transplant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>However, he died from treatment-related complications 60 days after transplant. He battled as a true warrior, determined, though wounded.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">A celebration of Gene’s life took place on June 27, with a funeral service at the San Juan Mission Church, in the Mimbres Valley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A memorial will also be held in San Diego in mid-July.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He was preceded in death by his mother, Luisa and nephews Michael and Daniel Morales, and brother-in-law, David Delgado. He is survived by his father, Manuel Pacheco (MP) Valles, age 97, of Hurley; his wife, Gail, of San Diego, and her family; sisters Emilia Morales of Colton, CA, Genevieve (Guera) Jimenez of Glendale, AZ, Teresa Delgado of Kempner, TX, and Maria Dolores Tovar and Victoria Valles-Mora of Albuquerque.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He was blessed as well with many, many wonderful nieces and nephews.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">For anyone wishing to honor his memory, donations may be made to any of the following:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><u><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Gene Valles Memorial Scholarship Fund<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Checks payable to:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">The Campanile Foundation<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">San Diego State University<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">5500 Campanile Drive<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">San Diego CA 92182-8030<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><u><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Leukemia and Lymphoma Society<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><a href="http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/">http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">888-773-9958<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Or donations made in Gene’s name to the:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><u>San Juan Mission Church<o:p></o:p></u></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">HC 71 Box 1377<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">San Lorenzo, NM 88041</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"></span></b><b><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><i>And finally, the information again on the </i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"><i>SDSU Memorial</i></span></span><i>:</i></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"> <!--StartFragment--> </span></b></p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Date: Wednesday, July 14th, 2010<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Time: 3:30 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Location: Parma Payne Goodall Alumni Center<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">San Diego State University<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">55th Street and Hardy Avenue<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">San Diego, CA 92182<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Parking is available at no charge in Parking Structure 5 (adjacent to the Alumni Center; enter from 55th Street).</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </b><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <!--EndFragment--> <p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-71977953738417791552010-07-06T13:01:00.000-07:002010-07-06T13:06:44.836-07:00New Mexico Memorial PhotosOur incredible nephew, Jason Estrada, who was my lifeline during Gene's hospitalization, visiting him almost every day, took these incredible photos of the New Mexico Memorial. For those of you who've not been to the farm, you'll get a glimpse. Although you may not know all the friends and family, his slideshow captures the essence of a beautiful ceremony. You can download or add to it or just view it. Thanks, Jas! Patty Dana just sent more so I'll be adding a link to those as well, or combining, but here is a first look:<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial;font-size:15px;"> <a href="http://gallery.me.com/boomchikiboom#100044">http://gallery.me.com/boomchikiboom#100044</a></span></div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-50740681333027291992010-07-05T10:01:00.000-07:002010-07-05T10:19:41.077-07:00Safely Home in SD<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>We made the desert crossing safely on the fourth of July, and my mom, my sister Susan and I, are all back in SD. Breezy joined us last night, coming from the excellent care of Susan, Steve and Rachel. She spent some time looking for Gene, as she could smell the farm on us, and on our stuff, and that smell always used to mean Gene was back. My sister Esther returns this week, and we'll get to work planning Gene's SD Memorial on July 14, one day after what would have been his 61st birthday.<div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>The time at the farm was deep and sad and sweet with friends and family. We had a perfect celebration of Gene's life, New Mexico style. I'll post the photos and a bit about them as soon as I collect them from Patty and Jason. We filled the little church in San Juan and ate lots of good New Mexico style enchiladas, and more, back at the farm. Oh yea, and a <i>good</i> tequila toast too.</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Thanks to all of you who came, who contributed, who shared stories and tears, and offered your condolences. We planned so carefully, it was such a great group effort. One of the many things that especially touched me was that one of Gene's high school friends, Sam Baca, now a funeral director himself, came just as a friend, and helped facilitate the memorial in the church, including walking me out of the church. Just one of many examples of folks whose lives Gene has touched, and for whose touch I am so grateful.</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>For those of you still needing to mourn and celebrate Gene, the details for the San Diego State Memorial are here on the blog. I'll continue to post.<br /><div><br /></div></div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-86467446142148995692010-06-26T09:34:00.000-07:002010-07-09T21:02:24.083-07:00In Memoriam<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVLmDSrTYIyAL5feHUeCArwoYZlHvoulX-4LnYWD2629WmDmOeZ4rRjDFwmC9_an2AxvEfKdG5HsgsJzk3v0dM72Hs0K_D_Pn4R5rgzqEdX56MreggR5XXS-KC8tvrhlg4ycQusodfpYE/s1600/Picture+5.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVLmDSrTYIyAL5feHUeCArwoYZlHvoulX-4LnYWD2629WmDmOeZ4rRjDFwmC9_an2AxvEfKdG5HsgsJzk3v0dM72Hs0K_D_Pn4R5rgzqEdX56MreggR5XXS-KC8tvrhlg4ycQusodfpYE/s400/Picture+5.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487120200374796210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Eugene “Gene” Valles</span><br /></div><br />Dear College of Education Faculty, Staff, and Retired Faculty,<br /><br />It is with great sadness that I inform you of the passing of Dr. Gene Valles early Wednesday morning, June 23, 2010.<br /><br />Dr. Valles received his BA in Special Education with a K-12 teaching credential from the University of New Mexico (UNM) in 1976, an MA Degree in Special Education with an emphasis in Learning Disabilities and Bilingual Special Education in 1981 from UNM, an Education Administration license from UNM in 1991, and a doctorate from UNM in Special Education/Learning Disabilities in 1992. He was an Army Veteran who prior to coming to SDSU in 1993, worked as a public school teacher in special education for 17 years, working at the elementary, middle, and high school levels.<br /><br />Dr. Valles had over 30 years of teaching experience in special education working as a classroom teacher and teacher trainer. He joined the faculty of the Department of Special Education in 1993, and accepted a permanent appointment in 1996. Dr. Valles worked as a Program Coordinator of the Bilingual Special Education teacher preparation program at SDSU from 1993-1998. He also served as Practicum Coordinator and Program Coordinator for the Mild/Moderate Intern Credential Program. He later served as Department Chair of the Special Education Department.<br /><br />Dr. Valles was the consummate professional who was committed to his passion for teaching. He was an expert teacher who had a direct impact on the professional preparation of countless educators and dedicated his professional life to improving instructional practices that led to better outcomes for individuals with disabilities. He presented at many regional, state, national, and international professional conferences. His passion was preparing teachers to best serve students with disabilities, particularly students from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds. In 2007, Dr. Valles collaborated with colleagues from the Department of Policy Studies in Language and Cross Cultural Education in writing and securing U.S. Department of Education grant funding for the ALAS program that resulted in the training of fully credentialed teachers in both bilingual and special education.<br /><br />Dr. Valles loved life and his gentle and loving spirit touched all who had the pleasure of knowing him. He enjoyed sailing and gardening with his wife Gail, spending time with friends, and felt most at home at their New Mexico farm, No Cattle Company.<br /><br />Dr. Valles is survived by his father, Manuel Pacheco Valles, age 97, sisters Emilia Morales, Maria Tovar, Teresa Delgado, and Victoria Mora-Valles and many, many nieces and nephews and his wife, Gail Moriarty, and her family.<br /><br />A private service for Dr. Valles will be held at his farm in New Mexico. In addition, a celebration of his life will take place on SDSU's campus on:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Date:</span> Wednesday, July 14th. 2010<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Time:</span> 3:30 p.m.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Location:</span> Parma Payne Goodall Alumni Center<br />San Diego State University<br />55th Street and Hardy Avenue<br />San Diego, CA 92182<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Parking available at no charge:</span> Parking Structure 5<br />(adjacent to the Alumni Center; enter from 55th Street)<br /><br />In lieu of flowers, the immediate family requests that contributions in Gene's memory be sent to:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Checks payable to:</span> Campanile Foundation<br />Reference: Gene Valles Memorial Scholarship<br />The Campanile Foundation<br />San Diego State University<br />5500 Campanile Drive<br />San Diego, CA 92182-8030<br /><br />Or:<br /><br />Donations to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society<br />at <a href="http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/">http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org</a><br />or by calling (888) 773-9958<br /><br />You may send notes of sympathy to Gene’s family to:<br /><br />Contact Jose Luis Alvarado at alvarado@mail.sdsu.edu for more information.<br /><br />The College extends its condolences to Dr. Valles' family during this difficult time.<br /><br />Respectfully,<br /><br /><br />Ric A. Hovda<br />Professor and Dean<br />College of Education<br />San Diego State UniversityUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-52490917270535879102010-06-24T07:53:00.000-07:002010-06-24T09:02:19.442-07:00Celebrating Gene: New Mexico Style<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">We have been able to pull the preliminary details together to have a memorial celebration for Gene at No Cattle Company this Sunday, June 27.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A deacon will lead a Catholic service with communion at the San Juan Mission Church right there in front of the farm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>After that we can gather down at the farm and continue a Gene-style remembrance, helping to send his spirit soaring from the place he loved most on earth.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Since potluck seems to be the style of farm parties, if we could continue that tradition, that would be appreciated.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The church service will begin at 3 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The farm celebration/memorial will continue immediately afterwards and go until…..<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Most of you know how to get to No Cattle, but if it is your first visit, or you’ve not been there in awhile, the physical address is 2290 Hwy 61, San Juan NM 88057.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>You can contact Patty Dana for further information and directions, questions, suggestions on places to stay; her cell is 505-980-0578.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The plans for the San Diego Memorial are not yet in place other than knowing it needs to be in the next few weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Several of you have shared calendar constraints and I’m glad to know those so continue to share them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A weekday late afternoon-evening might work best and I’m open to any suggestions on a location.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I know that Gene touched the lives of a lot of his students and I’d want time to get the word out to them.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">GeneCentral is not going away in the near future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As I’ve told several of you, my recovery will take time and I will need to tap into all of your many offers of support over time.</p> <!--EndFragment--> gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-75444777359397855952010-06-23T10:20:00.000-07:002010-06-23T22:26:27.413-07:00A Life Well Lived: July 13, 1949- June 23, 2010<span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Chalkboard;font-size:medium;" ><div>To all of you who have been a part of the web of energy, love, prayer and healing,</div><div><br /></div>Gene passed away at 4:00 AM this morning, June 23. We were blessed with nurse angels who helped us with the transition and both my sister Esther and Gene's sister Emilia were there with us. I'm sorry that some of you are reading this in an email or blog, but bad news travels fast as they say, so perhaps you've already heard. At this point, only five hours later, I know only that I am exhausted and that there are already paperwork processes to be completed. Gene's wishes were to be cremated and to keep it simple. I would like to have a service in New Mexico, where his heart and family reside, hopefully a mass at the little church right in front of the farm, and a celebration at the farm. We would also plan a memorial service in San Diego for the friends and colleagues, shortly after that. Right now we are trying to make it happen for this coming Sunday, but not at all sure that will work. Thinking weekend for most folks is best but all those things are up in the air. Will keep you posted as details develop.<div><br /></div><div>I am so sorry for all of our losses. Gene and I talked about one of the many lessons of this experience is how much love we live with, take for granted, don't always express, and even, in Gene's case, was sometimes hard to believe was even possible. Your love has sustained us, and Gene is now pure love, though the human form is preferred by us while in our human state.</div><div><br /></div><div>Gene fought so hard and at one point expressed sorrow for the people he was disappointing because he wasn't going to make it. I did my best to assure him that we all saw him as a hero, a warrior, who endured more than can even be imagined. The last two months were torture and the last two weeks he struggled to die and struggled to stay alive and finally gathered the strength to die. Only his suffering being relieved makes his passing the least bit tolerable.</div><div><br /></div><div>I look forward to hugs and talks, and stories of Gene, with as many of you as possible, in the very near future. Knowing that we are sharing this sadness as well as the joy of having known and loved Gene, provides comfort for us all. Thank you for sharing this difficult journey. With love and gratitude,</div><div>Gail</div></span>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-5056226764444105582010-06-22T15:35:00.000-07:002010-06-22T16:37:58.021-07:00Fighting On For TodayGene said this morning when I updated him that he wants to continue the fight. At least that's what I think he said and he is cooperating more with therapy. The man, I've always suspected, has Pancho Villa's blood running in his veins and I think now, Geronimo as well. He has an additional complication today in that his picc line that delivers all life support has pulled out a bit. His liver numbers remain exceedingly high. Esther and I are going to visit the San Diego Hospice inpatient facility this afternoon. Hope remains on that thread.gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-19355342812423575382010-06-21T22:20:00.000-07:002010-06-21T22:22:01.524-07:00Gene’s Update: Summer Solstice<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Given that I am of Irish and Swedish descent, I do have some pagan blood running through me, and this day is usually among one of my personal favorite “holidays”, Midsommar in Sweden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Since we are back in the Bone Marrow Transplant unit, just a few doors down from our last room, we still have an ocean view.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The typical June Gloom in San Diego parted at the coast and the sun came through for a few hours while we napped.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">We are back on 3 North not because of any improvement but because one doctor was kind enough to tell us that if Gene were to be re-intubated, he would not likely come off the ventilator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>So, not wanting to die that way, the decision was made easier to go to “DNR” status, and once that is official, you are not an ICU candidate. No middle ground, the ICU doc said, either “full-code” (all aggressive measures to save your life) or not ICU.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He also told me when I asked for some hope that he didn’t deal in hope, just the data.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Inter-hospital politics allowed us to remain for a few more days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We spent a 17 day/night nightmare there I think. The last 5 or so I stayed with him all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It is so so not peaceful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>At least on 3 North, Gene is in the hands of tender, loving nurses and staff with whom we’ve built relationship over these nearly six months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is really still an ICU-needs patient and the staff struggles to meet all his needs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Nothing has changed significantly since he came off the ventilator on June 4 or 5.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I look for small signs that his lung function is improving, like him not “de-sating” ( oxygen saturation in blood dropping) when he is moved, or coughs, or the decrease in the amount of time that he needs both the high-flow nasal canula oxygen at 30 liters plus the “non-rebreather” oxygen mask, and that has improved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He can get by most of the day on just the wind-storm of nasal canula, nights are really rough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Really rough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That is when he asks repeatedly to die, to end it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His “life” is really hell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He has been bedridden so long that he no longer has much muscle function.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He can lift his hands and wiggle his feet and breathe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Most of his life energy goes into breathing, with 100% oxygen being blown into his nose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His liver function is quite compromised and he is very jaundiced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He has “skin breakdown”, blistering, other skin tears, over most of his back, and all of the area from the waist down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His “life” consists of being cleaned which is excruciating with all the skin problems, sleeping in exhaustion from that, being pricked three times a day for the prednisone-induced diabetes and then most of those finger pricks being followed by insulin shots in the stomach.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Severe stomach cramps precede bloody bowels that are probably graft versus host disease in his gut or cytomegalovirus. Cleaned again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They did insert a feeding tube maybe 5 or 7 days ago, he seems to be tolerating it, though maybe that is causing the bloody bowels, they don’t know. The word they use a lot is <i>idiopathic</i><span style="font-style:normal"> which is medicalese for “we don’t know what causes this”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He gets respiratory therapy 4 times a day, just a nebulizer, and has rejected speech therapy to help him swallow for the last 5 days or so, and has rejected being moved in any way to reduce bed sores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They had a high tech bed for awhile for his skin but he didn’t sleep well being moved all the time, and there are concerns about the hydraulics and the oxygen-rich environment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His numbers don’t change much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Lungs and liver are very compromised, damaged, gut is inflamed, skin, well the nurses say they’ve seen worse, but he is seen by a wound care nurse daily, except weekends, when it is a very bad time to be in need of medical support.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">He sleeps in the day and is awake most of the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’ve been spending the last 7 or 8 or I can’t remember nights with him, trying to comfort and meet his needs that even in ICU were only met if they were extreme.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>At my point of greatest exhaustion, daybreak, he is most interested in talking and I just am so beyond that I can’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But I can push my cot right up next to his bed and rub his tummy, like a baby and that shows on the monitor that it drops his heart rate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is on a good painkiller, Fentanyl, which leaves him pretty cognitively intact but mostly sleepy…..except in the middle of the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In the night he begs to die, but in the few hours that we can talk somewhat clearly during the day, he is not as sure, asking me what I think.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">The ICU team was all for hospice and give it up, the oncology docs believe that because he has been strong enough to survive this long that he has a chance of making it through this valley of death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am desperately torn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have had hospice consults the last two days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I think if there is no change in the next few days, and if Gene wants to give up the fight, then I will begin facilitating that process.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We both pray for some sign that things are going up or down and it all remains the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He actually no longer has energy to pray aloud.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He has been anointed three times, the most recently by a Catholic priest, Msr. Sheheen, I guess it is no longer called Last Rites but it was comforting for Gene, as was his visit with an Episcopal priest, Chris Chase, who used to be my mom’s priest in Tenn.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">The visit while still in ICU, from his nieces, Christina and Bobbie and sister, Emilia, also felt supportive to him and definitely to me. My sister Esther covers the home front and hospital respite for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Friends continue to provide whatever support can be offered given where we are…..food and errands, Breezy care. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">I told Gene two weeks ago that he did not have to hang on for me, that it was between him and God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And that has provided me some solace, but yesterday I realized that it is not really completely truthful to say that it is “in God’s hands” because he is basically on life support, except for breathing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If the nutrition and infection control medications were removed…..then it would be completely in God’s hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the doctor told me that could be hours, days or weeks till an end.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So, no answers.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Because his liver is not working well, the Fentanyl builds up and he has become less and less responsive, making it harder and harder to discern his wishes…..though in the middle of the night he makes them loud and clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It does not seem likely that he could come home, though that is what he wants, given how acute his situation is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m still trying to get a grasp of what the interface of hospice and hospital “comfort care” is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Although there is a hospice facility, I cannot imagine the trauma of moving him, and he has so many loved caregivers at the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But once we sign on a Hospice company, it may mean that after a time he needs to be moved.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In any event, he would remain on oxygen and pain medication.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">And, the prayers and hoped for miracle could come at any time…..he is just suffering so so much, how much longer can he be asked to live like this if there is no change?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The thin thread of hope and the thin thread of life are still intact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And already, the daylight begins getting shorter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have been crossing this valley of the shadow of death for so long.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-73628043527076920062010-06-17T14:51:00.000-07:002010-06-17T14:54:23.058-07:00Hi Gene and GailGiven that I don't want to bug Gail or Gene, here's a short video greeting. Love you guys. JLA<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dznMP01WWHMjfvVjhXksquHLAebgWXxYVGt-dRD2TuKheE0gzlGzGUtRyoTlXO3u8CLQ0NV05zavgqLi_y5ig' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-30720857607243279992010-06-12T11:58:00.000-07:002010-06-12T12:04:58.473-07:00Guardedly OptimisticJune 12 Already.<div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">I wasn't going to post, but it is an upward trending two days and I started writing this in an email and decided to send it out to all. It is in God's hands, I've come to that peace, and I also know that the appeal process is working.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">I am exhausted beyond belief but have more strength than Gene right now so I'm not in conservation mode despite what everyone tells me, it is all for Gene.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">If we can get him to a resting place, I will rest a bit as well.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Yesterday he told me he wanted to give up, didn’t think he could make it through the day. He was spiritually and emotionally broken, and exhausted beyond imagination. After a week off the ventilator he is still not strong enough to be cleared to swallow on his own which means the nurse (not even me) is in control of every little ice chip and if he coughs one, that’s it. And that sucks so huge. Many docs and nurses, chaplain and social worker, came in yesterday to tell him that it was not time to give up. That he is on a plateau and given where he was a week ago, that is huge. And, importantly, that they <i>will</i></span><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;"> tell him if it is time to switch to comfort care only. Gene asked his oncologist how to get hospice started and Dr. Mason told him that he could not sign hospice papers because everything he has is treatable and not terminal. They started him on prozac. I spent the night at the hospital with him, an even more difficult task in icu as there is not option to put a cot in the room so I was in the very uncomfortable chair that I'd previously complained about. (One of the many lessons….things can always be worse, don’t complain but be thankful for what is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Thought I knew that one, but guess not.) But I could talk to him and hold his hand when they woke him every few hours and he told me this morning that helped tremendously. My sister is there now and she said he is doing better in all ways, numbers are good, they are going to start some very limited physical therapy, and hopefully be able to get him on a "bi-pap" machine for nights and naps to give him some rest as breathing is consuming all of his energy. Docs hope to see results of new drug working on Monday. I am taking valium so it could be the drugs talking or blocking but yesterday as he was telling me it was the end, I was looking at him stronger, talking more, ventilator wounds healing....looking better than he had in weeks, and I just didn't believe it.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">The climb out of this pit will be long and arduous and we could still slip and fall, but I am, to use another doc's words, "guardedly optimistic" and so so tired.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">Prayers are for cmv virus to be cured, liver to improve and strengthen, GvH Disease to be addressed by new drugs, skin to heal on his torso, and Gene's spirit to be supported. And strength from somewhere left inside me to be accessible to me, or more given.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Chalkboard;">I think Gene’s sister Emilia and neice Christina are due in town on Sunday, which will be a perfect time for more family support…..don’t want my lifeline Esther to burn out and she is doing frontline work and home support.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Keep the prayers coming, and thank you for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I got to kiss Gene on the lips yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Everyday is a gift, no matter how difficult.</span><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-40872575013934301812010-06-10T07:26:00.000-07:002010-06-10T07:29:19.595-07:00June 9, 2010<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>To breathe, to drink<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "> </span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene was “extubated” (taken off the breathing tube), on Saturday afternoon, not long after his family left to return to NM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His time on the ventilator was made more difficult because of his challenged liver.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Usually a patient would remain sedated until shortly before coming off the vent, but because Gene couldn’t really metabolize the sedative (propofil- made famous by Micheal Jackson), he spent six hours one day, then 12 then almost 24 sort of non-sedated, but still intubated, while he cleared enough to follow directions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Fortunately, he doesn’t remember any of it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Originally he said he would never do that again, but has since changed his mind and said he would be re-intubated if necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Which is a good thing, otherwise they would not really keep him in ICU and he needs to be there.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is progress with his lungs, though it is baby steps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He still needs significant oxygen support and respiratory therapy every four hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His liver has remained pretty much the same, jaundiced, sluggish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is alert, and when he can be on the nasal oxygen alone, without the addition of the mask, we can talk a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is very, very weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is receiving therapy to learn how to swallow and it is painfully slow….the therapist can’t give us any timeline at all when he might be cleared to have a drink of water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He was able to swallow spoons of “thickened water” today, but all he can have is those teeny sponges on a stick (if you’ve ever had one coming out of surgery) to suck on for moisture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He said he was hungry but his stomach wouldn’t tolerate the feeding tube, wouldn’t process what was put in, so he is just on IV nutrition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He doesn’t remember his family’s visit.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Fortunately for his dad, Gene became more and more responsive each day he was here, and when MP left he told me that Gene would get better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And Gene has gotten stronger, and we have been able to communicate with each other, and that is a blessing and a gift.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He has “significant” Graft versus Host Disease (GvHD) in his liver, and possibly his skin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They don’t think at this point GvH is what is causing the lung problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His skin is just blistered all over and he lays on cotton pads to absorb the weeping.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The main drug they have for fighting that effect, where the new donor cells see his organs as foreign and attack, is the drug that caused him two rounds of kidney failure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They have been using steroids to suppress it, but it is not really working and has lots of other unwanted consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So they came up with another set of medications, with Sirolimus (Rapamune) as the anti-GvH drug, to go along with all the prayers that we hope will save him. The ICU docs really don’t talk to me at all, and the nurses are very guarded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have much less information about his condition than I did on the Transplant Unit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the truth is, his transplant doctors just do not know what is causing all of the many problems, or as they say, “transplant-related toxicities”.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, neither the transplant doctors nor the ICU doctors are ready to give up, and Gene is fighting to the end.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">One of my greatest struggles this week, besides seeing Gene so debilitated and feeling so helpless, is what does “the end” mean, between remaking an immune system and all the aggressive life-saving measures that an ICU can use?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How do you know when enough is enough?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How do you carve out a piece of peace?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Patty and Jim left yesterday, but continue to bear the incredible emotional burden we’ve shared these five months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am so fortunate, and so grateful that they could be my family through this, and so glad they can return to pick up their lives at last. My sister Esther is here with me now, maintaining a lifeline to home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She always finds a positive way to look at some aspect of these non-stop assaults Gene is enduring, and that helps keeps a bit of sanity afloat.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So, the good news:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is off the ventilator and breathing on his own with significant but non-invasive support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His only real pain, he says, is when they have to move him every few hours, and when they have to clean his skin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He told me that he is not really suffering that much.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He can talk, and now swallow under therapist supervision. He seems more alert, and stronger than he was when in came in to the ICU eight days ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He has good spirit and wants to continue to fight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We can still communicate our love for each other.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He has a tremendous network of prayer and love. His mouth is healed enough that he smiled today.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We will both emerge from this as changed beings, though it is not clear when or what that may look like.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-86110385852057152612010-06-02T13:41:00.000-07:002010-06-04T09:21:59.902-07:00Gene’s Update: Wed. June 2, 2010 Day +40 (I think)<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><b>Help Us Keep Hope Alive</b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene is fighting so hard.<span style=""> </span>He has had such an unbelievably brutal struggle.<span style=""> </span>We’ve enlisted even more modern western medical technology with yesterday’s admission to ICU.<span style=""> </span>Gene and I made the decision to put him on a ventilator after several days of difficulty keeping his blood oxygenated.<span style=""> </span>That necessitates heavy sedation, so they say he can hear, but not respond.<span style=""> </span>He’s fighting a pneumonia, which they cannot determine the cause of.<span style=""> </span>He is retaining, once again, a lot of fluid.<span style=""> </span>He’s been subjected to invasive and external tests, scans, probes and pokes.<span style=""> </span>He still has the hemolysis syndrome where his platelets and red blood cells become damaged, which build up in his blood and back up in his liver and gall bladder. His liver and his lungs are currently his most challenged organs.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It is hard to see him all hooked up, and many times my hope fails and the darkness and fear intrude.<span style=""> </span>I visualize the web of love and support and light that exists for him from all of you and I try to imagine that energy, all the prayers, encircling him.<span style=""> </span>We’ve been blessed with miracles on this journey, please help us pray for a few more:<span style=""> </span>For the hemolysis to resolve, for his liver to withstand the onslaught and clear, for his lungs to persevere and for Gene’s will to live to remain positive and strong.<span style=""> </span>And then there’s me…..thank you for your prayers for strength.<span style=""> </span>It comes in surges.<span style=""> </span>I dip into despair, but then find some strength, some energy to continue….as if I had a choice.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> Gene’s family is arriving to cheer him on.<span style=""> </span>Three of his sisters will be here today, and they’re bringing his Dad, MP, age 97.<span style=""> </span>It will be very hard on MP, and his hearing aid is broken again, making it even more difficult to help him understand what is going on.<span style=""> </span>But it is better for him to be here than not, and hopefully it will provide a boost for Gene.<span style=""> </span>I’ve made it clear to Gene, I hope, that they are not here because we’re giving up, but because he needs a reminder of what he is fighting for.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> Yesterday, in the midst of what felt like the worst day of my life (a criterion that keeps evolving), the transplant nurse brought over a letter from his donor.<span style=""> </span>I’ve been so absorbed with all of this, thinking that later, Gene and I would compose a letter together once he’s home, that we’d not even communicated our gratitude to her yet.<span style=""> </span>The results of his marrow biopsy are all in and official:<span style=""> </span>the transplant was a success in terms of engrafting, growing new cells, and his marrow is already 100% her DNA.<span style=""> </span>And, there is no evidence of the chromosomal abnormalities that made his leukemia so hard to treat.<span style=""> </span>I keep reminding him, he no longer has leukemia; he just has to survive the treatment.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> The donor search process requires that we remain anonymous to each other for a year, but I want to share her words with all of you: </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Please forward this to my donation recipient.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Hi,<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>I just wanted to say that it was an honor to donate and give you life well deserved.<span style=""> </span>I wanted to let you know that I pray for you every day.<span style=""> </span>I hope you are doing well and recover very soon.<span style=""> </span>May the Lord be with you always and protect you and heal you.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Your friend,<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Your Donor<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thank you for your continuing prayers for miracles, for healing and for strength.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-76974756867128128502010-05-25T14:33:00.000-07:002010-05-25T14:43:49.868-07:00News We Can Use: Day +30 Marrow Biopsy: Leukemia-Free<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">The news that at last Gene’s bone marrow shows no signs of Leukemia could not have come at a better time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is the reason he is, we all are, enduring this struggle and so we now know it has been worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I know he is savoring the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He said yesterday, “We are not out of the woods yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As far as turning the corner on the pain, we are not there, but I think I can see the bend in the road ahead.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have, as Gene of course has, completely lost track of time, except I do know that it is the end of May and I am amazed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The month of May has been a trial, to say the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Thank you to all of you who’ve sent messages of hope and encouragement, I just haven’t been able to reply yet.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene is recovering from his most recent round of kidney failure, the numbers are trending in the right direction and that is huge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>After an abdominal ultrasound Friday (I think) it was determined that he is now suffering from pancreatitis, an extremely painful inflammation of the pancreas, related to having “sludge” in his gall bladder (but not stones).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He has not been able to eat or drink without it causing even more gastric and bowel distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They originally gave him darvocet for the pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They were worried about how loopy he’d been for so long on the morphine, unable to tell if that was a result of the damaged kidneys or from the morphine, or both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The darvocet only provided a few hours of relief and yesterday they put him back on the morphine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I now recognize Gene’s version of classic morphine behavior:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>deliriums (some of which provide the only humor in this situation), scratching and extreme restlessness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Gene can’t sleep on morphine, it’s weird, it stimulates him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A strange, strange drug, but it did provide the needed pain relief, relaxed the furrow in his brow.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The biopsy and associated chromosomal analysis also, incredibly, allowed the doctors to see that the tacrolimus, the drug given him for anti-rejection and anti-graft-versus-host-disease (the next big hurdle lurking on the horizon) did cause the kidney failure and perhaps the pancreatitis as well, so they know that they will not try it again, and will find another tool. Right now he is on prednisone (steroid) for that purpose but they say it is a short-term solution.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The second round of 20+ pounds of water weight has been coming off over the last few days and as good as it is to see that he has bones again, frightening to see that that seems to be all that is there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He basically hasn’t eaten in over a month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They’ve replaced his IV with a PICC line, this time in his right arm, most inconvenient but small in the scheme of things, so he is receiving fluids.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As of last night even water was painful to drink. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I spoke with Jim this morning he said that Gene reports feeling better and asked for tea and muffin, so that could be a huge turning point, we hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is still on 24-hour watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I stayed one night (decided it was the second worst night of my life in terms of what Gene endured and I had supported him through, but it was also the night he most needed me, so that was fortunate), but mostly he just wants the hospital sitter from midnight to seven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our hope is that he can progress to not needing 24 hour watch, get off the pain meds, start to eat, start to walk again…..and then we are on the path to home.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m taking the afternoon off to try to get some rest, maybe sun, maybe walk….definitely short on fresh air.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We all talk about how the air in the room, though supposedly filtered, feels not right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Saturday we put Gene in the wheelchair and got the ok to wheel him outdoors for about 15 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The sun was gone, marine layer in, but he said it felt good, but it wiped him out and he fell asleep immediately when we got back.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This weekend though, after I sent out that last plea for prayers and energy, I did feel a peace coming through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Friday I felt so desperate, but over the weekend I began to feel that we would survive.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Although there was at that point no real change in Gene’s condition, just a slow movement of the numbers in the right direction, I think it was the power of prayer, the extra energy sent by all, so thank you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We are feeling the love, the concern, the care.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My team of angels continues to hold me aloft, even when I’m draggin’, they have been a miracle unto themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Gratitude also, knows no bounds.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-12654421563510510392010-05-21T11:49:00.000-07:002010-05-21T11:51:58.306-07:00Gene's Update: Day +27. 5-21-10. All Hands On Deck<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene’s update:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Day +27 May 21, 2010</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We are in a challenging place and I just wanted to ask you to renew your positive energy, thoughts and prayers in Gene’s direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As I’ve mentioned, it feels like it has been 2-3 weeks of lurching from crisis to crisis.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>At the moment, Gene is fighting on a couple of fronts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His kidney numbers are improving slowly, and that is most encouraging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He still however has a significant amount of water weight (size large pj bottoms purchased yesterday) and that has many associated problems including discomfort/pain and high blood pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His liver numbers are now high as well and I’ve not been able to discuss that with the docs yet but expect to today.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For about 4 days now he has had extreme gastric distress, abdominal pain that comes in waves. They are not sure what it is, could be related to going off the morphine and he was not feeling that pain previously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His confusion level is much improved but between the kidney problems and the confusion they are reluctant to give him any more narcotic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is extremely weak, needing help to sit up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Obviously not walking, a bit in the room after a lot of cajoling, and most worrisome, he is hardly eating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>After pulling his central catheter for fear of that causing his 104 temp (which has resolved, now normal), he had an IV for a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The other night they tried five painful times to replace it when it blew and finally gave up, they successfully placed a new picc line in his arm yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They’ve discovered that the spots on his lung most likely are a fungal infection, aspergillis, the one they feared back in January, but say the good news is that between his new white blood cells and the anti-fungal medication they can target, he has a really good shot of knocking that out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is just a huge list of things not good……the good news is that his transplant seems to be successful he is making neutrophils and white blood cells and those numbers are all in the normal range.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He might be getting discouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He sleeps most of the time and getting him to eat 4 ounces of food takes about an hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We are working our brains to come up with solutions.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Patty and Esther are cooking up things to tempt him, and Esther’s Rice Pudding from the Cancer Cookbook was a success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Today I’m going to see if we can take him outside for air and sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last night / this morning when I left at 1:00 AM I thought we were turning a corner, but have not yet arrived at hospital to see if that is the case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He did not sleep well and is getting platelet transfusion now and Jim is with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have him covered 18 hours a day and the hospital has some one sitting with him from midnight to 7 when we are not there, so that he doesn’t fall….without platelets that could be very dangerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m on my way in and seem to be successful in badgering him to eat and walk, we bargain, bites, nap, bites, nap.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is not that he doesn’t know how many people love him and are rooting for him, but if you could just let him know on an energy level, send him encouraging thoughts, redouble your prayers if possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Time to call in the troops and get that boy rockin’ and rollin’ again” says Patty. Thank you for your web of love and caring and prayer.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-1424598559534199432010-05-16T18:26:00.000-07:002010-05-16T18:37:08.338-07:00Gene's Update: Day +22, May 16, 2010<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene’s update:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Sunday May 16, 2010, Day +22</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It has been a really hard week.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I keep thinking it is going to get better, easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>On the neutrophil front things are looking great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His neutrophil count is up to 6.2, and some lymphocytes (about 25% of the white blood cells) are just starting to fill in as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If that was all there was we could break out the champagne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Doctors say he is in recovery, that it will take 4-6 weeks for him to start making his own red blood cells, and platelets could take a few months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And that part is in the normal range.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His mucositis, mouth and throat sores are much better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is able to eat some soft foods and rates his pain scale at a 3 out of 10, down from 7 or 8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He still has access to the morphine but uses it much less.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Just when we wanted to take a breather, he spiked a fever early in the week, started at 102 and went to 104.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Doctor decided to take his central catheter line out thinking that there may have been a staph infection on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They took it out, but it tested negative for infection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The infectious disease doctor that did such a great job keeping him infection-free for 3 months before transplant, Dr. Redfield, was called in and zeroed in on his lungs again, they ordered a lung CT scan, saw some new areas of concern, “nodules”, and did a bronchoscopy on Wednesday.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So far nothing has been identified from everything they cultured but his fever is gone, in fact in the last two days his body temp has gone as low as 95.1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Weird to me, but doc said it is okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That whole process has been extremely high anxiety, we’d gone through it in January and it is not without risk, but once again went smoothly, he was pretty drugged up for that day. The down side is that without the central catheter he has to be poked for blood draws once a day, and the IV has to be changed every four days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The IV inserts, twice now, have not gone smoothly as they say his veins are weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Not sure what will happen on that front since it was originally scheduled to remain in place for about 3 months.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then on Thursday his kidney numbers started going in the wrong directions again, including weight gain. This time the water that he is retaining is mostly in his lower extremities.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The last time they thought it was the anti-rejection drug, tacrolimus, so they stopped it, then restarted it at a lower dose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They’ve now stopped it again, substituted a steroid instead temporarily, and are trying to figure out what is going on. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>After 3 days in which he seems to be getting worse, a nephrologist finally came in today, but they are not responding as aggressively as it seems they did the last time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>No diuretics, some water restriction and adding a blood protein, albumin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Gene has most of the same symptoms as last time, except that he feels much worse, his legs so heavy and feet so swollen.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His sodium levels are low and he has a bit of the confusion / delerium that he had but the levels aren’t as low and that part isn’t as bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But he has no appetite, and mostly wants to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Unfortunately he has developed bed sores on his feet and back from being down for over a week.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Another good friend from New Mexico, Terry Hennigan, one of our original partners in No Cattle Company, flew in Tuesday for 24 hours, to see Gene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’d planned it, thinking that since it was day +17 and the worst was supposed to be over by day +14, that it would be okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Even though it was the start of his fever, Gene was glad to see Terry, but tired very easily, even though Terry paced his visits.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>My sister Esther arrived from North Carolina this week and has joined the caregiving team, learning the ropes, already covering shifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’ve been there until midnight and Jim has been great about doing the early morning shift and Patty filling in and keeping us all fed and organized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m really, really tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It feels like the last week has been non-stop high alert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The Bone Marrow Transplant unit seems to have almost twice as many patients as earlier this winter, so all staff are busier and more stressed, and there have been more temporary workers, including nurses, which is very scary for me when the nurse is not really trained in that specialty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Fortunately these last three days, we’ve had outstanding nurses.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gene seems more ill, more fragile, more uncomfortable, to me, than he has at any time since this started, exactly four months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It feels more stressful, but part of that is certainly the cumulative effect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His spirits have remained strong and he tries to comply with all requests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Today, he seemed very taxed, not so happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Needless to say, we are not out of the woods yet.</p> <!--EndFragment-->gailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01301885392919033212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526645568132318616.post-72445089694271898652010-05-15T10:52:00.000-07:002010-05-15T10:54:02.858-07:00Check out JibJab<a href="http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/4KCkoPB6u7hvRcgpWJW6">http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/4KCkoPB6u7hvRcgpWJW6</a>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02078642835560613032noreply@blogger.com0